Illustration by KEN EXUM/The Register-Mail

King Elementary School students, from left, Nadia Caves, Dakota Williams and Memphis Nicholson pretend to be bullies with volunteer Doug Roberts pretending to be a victim Tuesday at their school.

How to beat a bully

Program helps kids put a stop to bullying, from both sides

Saturday, October 6, 2007

By CIGI ROSS

The Register-Mail

The Hedding School principal said students were upset last year when other kids teased them, but didn't know the difference between a joke or being bullied.

"They didn't know how to define when they were being bullied and when they weren't," Andrews said.

So when Andrews got a flyer in the mail about American Red Cross classes for students, she called Ed Barragan.

Barragan used his law enforcement background to develop a program against bullying that Hedding Grade School could use in the classrooms. Barragan worked for the Galesburg Police Department for 27 years and served as the area's DARE officer for 14 years. He is currently working with the American Red Cross through AmeriCorps.

For the anti-bullying program's second year, Barragan approached Galesburg District 205 about including it in its curriculum.

'There is a need'

Barragan said the classes are needed because schools are asking for them.

BILL GAITHER/The Register-Mail Ed Barragan speaks to 5th-graders in Mrs. Kaarina Stanley's classroom Wednesday afternoon at King Elementary School. Barragan, a former Galesburg police officer, is in his second year teaching an anti-bullying program at local schools.

All Galesburg District 205 elementary schools and Hedding are participating this year. Barragan and the school administrators decided to focus the lessons on 4th- and 5th-graders who will soon enter junior high. The lessons are broken into four parts and Barragan visits each class once a week. Next week is the fourth and final week.

Barragan talks to the students about different situations they may encounter with bullies. He tells the students about different kinds of bullying - physical, social, intimidation - and gives them tips about dealing with bullies.

"He lets the kids ask questions and does a lot of role playing, which they really enjoy," Andrews said. "What I like about it is that he's not pounding it into them not to be a bully. He's also teaching kids who feel like they're being bullied how not to be a victim."

On Sept. 25, Barragan told Heather Hellenga's 5th-grade class, "It's OK to be different. As long as you don't break any laws or rules, there's nothing wrong with being different."

Barragan encourages victims of bullies to stand up for themselves, but reminds students "there are rules against fighting, period."

"Speak to the bully," Barragan said. "Use your body language to show them you're not afraid and tell them you want them to stop."

Barragan wants students to know bullying is a big deal, it's not OK and students should have the courage to stand up for themselves. He says it's working.

"I can tell by the questions that they ask and I can also tell by comments they make from the second week to the third week," Barragan said. "They'll volunteer information about situations on the playground, for example, and say they used information they learned the week before.

"They're putting it into action. That's the best thing a teacher can hear - that the kids are hearing the information and putting it into action."

Andrews has seen the improvement since last year.

"The teachers have definitely seen an improvement," Andrews said. "The kids are more aware of what they're doing, what bullying is and how to handle it.

"It's made a real impact."

The Bully

Barragan said a lot of young children become bullies because they're seeking attention or they've been bullied themselves.

"Sometimes kids get involved in this kind of behavior for attention," Barragan said. "They're getting attention, but it's negative attention. I tell them there are many ways to get positive attention from parents or peers or the school.

"Sometimes a kid is bullied. They don't like it, but they don't know what to do about it. I encourage them, if they have a problem, to seek out an adult in their life they can share it with."

Barragan is hoping to curb any bullying habits kids have at the 4th- and 5th-grade level to prevent bullying habits in adults.

"If bullying doesn't get corrected in a young person's life, by parents or by an important person in that kid's life, they're going to continue to do it as they get older," Barragan said.

A frequent example of adult bullying is domestic violence or fighting.

"By controlling friends or people around them (older) bullies think they're being a tough guy," Barragan said.

Both bullies and victims are in the classroom during Barragan's anti-bullying lectures. Barragan said this lets the bullies know how their behavior affects other people.

"I can talk to the victim, and still speak to the bully about how it feels to be victimized," he said.

Andrews said students at Hedding now realize that bullies don't usually feel very good about themselves.

"So, who wants to be the bully?" she said.

Side-effects of bullying

Heidi Sauer, a master's level therapist with Cottage Psychiatric Services, said bullying can affect young students in several ways.

"Many times there are long-term affects, socially, emotionally and psychologically," Sauer said. "It increases chances for depression. It can decrease self-esteem."

If a student is being bullied, Sauer said, they may vocalize physical complaints and a desire to stay home from school. A decrease in academic performance also may be a result of bullying. In some cases, a child might become more angry at home.

"If they can't express their anger at school they might bring it home," Sauer said. "Parents may see depression symptoms, a decrease in appetite or not wanting to be around people. Those could be signs that something's happening at school."

Sauer said parents and guardians should talk to their kids, even if they don't see symptoms of a problem.

"It's always good to have open communication with kids, whether something's going on or not," Sauer said. "Then they'll come to you when they need you."

Sauer said she tries to help kids who have been bullied understand it's not about them.

"I talk to them about why kids are doing this and ways they can handle it," Sauer said. "Usually they come in angry or sad ... because they don't really understand. They think it's about them when really it has nothing to do with them."

Be on the Lookout

Possible warning signs that a child is being bullied:

- Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings.

- Has unexplained cuts, bruises and scratches.

- Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she spends time.

- Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers (such as clubs).

- Takes a long, "illogical" route when walking to or from school.

- Has lost interest in school work or suddenly begins to do poorly in school.

- Appears sad, moody, teary or depressed when he or she comes home.

- Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches or other physical ailments.

- Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams.

- Experiences a loss of appetite.

- Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services