Face facts: Seeing red could land you in a cave
Six Degrees from Galesburg
Friday, September 2, 2005
I stared at the dermatologist skeptically when he made his diagnosis."It's rosacea," he said after one glance. He squinted down at me from what looked like the medical equivalent of a jeweler's visor. "You need to avoid the sun."
I blinked. I gazed up into his magnified eye.
"But I do," I told him. "I've hardly been outdoors all summer. I sit in a cubicle all day. My tan is from florescent lights."
"Still," he said. "The sun will agitate your condition."
He prescribed a high-quality sunscreen. I didn't object until I heard the price and realized the main ingredient must be melted gold.
"I can't afford that," I said. "But I'll wear a big straw hat to work."
I did agree to the doctor's other prescription: cleansing cloths that, I realized once I got home, smell like sulfur. (Now the idea of melted gold doesn't sound so bad.)
Leaving his office, I wondered how he could be right about what was wrong with me. I mean, sure, he might have a medical degree and all. But I didn't think I had rosacea. I had gone to see him for something I expected to be called "adult acne:" the mysterious bumps and red splotches that have appeared intermittently on my face since college.
When I heard "rosacea," I thought "old people." I thought "gin blossoms."
But I'm not old. And I don't drink gin. At least not during the week.
So I decided to seek out a second opinion. I made an appointment with Google.
Turns out the doctor was right. The symptoms listed on the Web site www.Rosacea.org described my situation perfectly:
- "... a redness on the cheeks, nose, chin or forehead that may come and go (check)."
- "... flushing and blushing episodes that last longer than normal (check - my face is still red two hours after I climb the stairs.)"
- "... Left untreated, bumps and pimples often develop (check - see aforementioned claim of 'adult acne')."
- "... individuals with fair skin (check-see mug shot above) are believed to be at greatest risk."
And it turns out I did nothing to bring on this condition. It may be in my blood.
According to the site, people of Irish and Scottish heritage might be more predisposed to rosacea.
Considering my Irish/Scottish/German genes, I suppose it was a good idea I went to the doctor. Otherwise, in a few years - due to the progressive nature of the condition if it's left untreated - I could develop swollen and bumpy facial tissue, or rhinophyma, the condition that "gave the late comedian W.C. Fields his trademark bulbous nose." I've always wanted some kind of beauty or fashion "trademark." But not one that involves my nose, or the word "bulbous," for that matter. Or the one that came to mind when I read this helpful tip: "A green-tinted pre-foundation...may be helpful to camouflage redness or blemishes."
I guess I know which "Wizard of Oz" character I'll be this year on Halloween.
Unfortunately, rosacea may come and go all my life, and it's incurable. But there are many "lifestyle changes" I could make, according to the site, to keep it under control. Such as avoiding caffeine, alcohol, spicy foods and hot drinks like coffee and tea. In other words, items that make up 98 percent of my diet.
Luckily, there are other effective preventative measures I can take, such as avoiding "environmental triggers," which include but are not limited to "sun exposure, hot weather, humidity, cold and wind."
Well. Thank heavens I live in the Midwest. I think I'll take up residence in an underground cave to get my complexion back to normal.
But there's no way I'm going down there without some coffee.
Alison McGaughey lives in Galesburg and works at Knox College. Contact her at alison.sixdegrees@gmail.com.
